You ever have that feeling that you’re drowning? Ever think that your chest is about to explode because you just can’t catch your breath?
I have that feeling everyday. I’ve had it since the moment I was born, it made me struggle with even the most easiest tasks. Washing the dishes, taking out the trash, baking cookies. You name it, I had problems with it.
I used to tell the teachers at school that I was having trouble concentrating but in those days they took a cane to your hands for slacking. Making me sit there wearing a dunce cap while nursing swollen extremities from where I’d been hit. I begged, I pleaded with the teachers that I was unable to concentrate, that I couldn’t breathe. They called me an imbecile and struck me again.
The moment I left school I thought things would get better but they didn’t, I went for job interviews but I could never remain calm, always breaking out in a sweat, the people who interviewed me looked at me funny. They told me they’d let me know and they never did. I couldn’t blame them.
Chatting up the ladies never seemed to work either, they looked at me with disgust. Sometimes even screaming rape.
Things soon got to me, they messed with my mind to the point where even coming up with a decent sentence was… uh… a hard.. task?
My mother asked me what I wanted for dinner, I punched her in the face and screamed at the dog, the dog barked back in defiance. I’ll show him though because I’ve eaten his squeaky toy. But the cat saw me do it, no doubt he’ll rat me out. He always does. The bastard.
Knowing I would be betrayed by the feline I left the house and headed to the shop, yet when I got there… there was no shop. Only darkness. It was at that moment I realised a bag had been thrown over my head and I’d been forced into the back of a vehicle and whisked away. I only wanted a can of Pepsi.
When I woke up, it felt like I was floating. It was terrific, it felt like I could float up to the sky if I wanted to. However when I opened my eyes I realised I was in water. Why wasn’t I drowning? It felt like I could finally breathe for the first time in my life. Things were so clear.
I looked at the reflection in the glass and my worst fears were realised. I was in fact an Octopus. But not just an Octopus…
A crazy Octopus. I looked around and there were other crazy fish swimming around, one continually banging his head against the glass. Another eating his own head. It was at that moment when I remembered where I was.
I was in the Insanity Aquarium. FML.