Too Late

And so she stands there in tears; the droplets of water from her eyes glistening against her cheek from the moonlight above. Shaking from head to toe but not from the bitter cold of the Winter air but from fear, from absolute terror of being alone.

For nearly twenty years I have loved her. When we first met I was 12 years old, but a mere child that didn’t even know what love was. I didn’t know how to control these feelings I had for her because you cannot control what you don’t understand.

I used to watch her from afar in class and day dream what it would be like for us to be together, seeing her talking to all of the other boys, boys that were “better” than me; “prettier” than me. But I was shy, definitely far too shy to talk to her and yet she spoke to me anyway. That first time in the playground, I was sat alone on that bench; being the new kid at school wasn’t easy especially this school.

You see rough schools glorified on TV and you say to yourself that you’re glad you didn’t end up there. For most of these kids it’s not a choice, for me it was.

I had so much promise at a young age, most people aspired to work with the police or be an astronaut but not me, I had a clear path; I wanted to go to a good school, go to a good University, earn a degree in web design. I wanted to make my father proud.

But what you want isn’t always what happens, expelled for violence. Not always violence I caused but violence I was involved with none-the-less. I wasn’t there long before I was thrown out and the worst school in my town was the only one that would take me.

It felt more like a prison sentence than an opportunity. Through the tough exterior I portrayed all I had inside of me was fear, anxiety, I never found it easy to mix well with others. I made one friend quickly who protected me from the others, he had my back; a feeling I had never felt before but just like everyone else I cared about in life he left.

His parents decided it’d be a good time to move away and when he was gone I was alone, on that bench in that playground.

Then she spoke to me Continue reading

Note To Self

James stood there gazing at Melissa’s hair reflecting in the sun light. Like liquid gold it was.

He knew her since they were five years old. They played together in primary school, they supported each other in secondary school. Friends for over 11 years until they both finished school. It was then time for the both to choose colleges and universities.

She moved away, went to university to study forensic science. He stayed behind, studied at his local college. He found it difficult not talking to her every day. The two tried to stay in touch but over the years like all things they grew apart.

It only took two years for the two not to even speak to one another anymore. People lose contact all the time, but he always thought she was his soul mate. The two were meant to be together and because of that he knew that they would meet again.
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